Friday, 10 October 2014

Why a baby before marriage is a bad idea

In today's society having a child before marriage has become a norm. Parents have given up and accepted the situation for what it is. The situation- more and more women or rather girls are having children before marriage.

The older generation of women make the conscious decision and have a child before getting married. This group of women is between ages 23 and 38. They are mature and want a child. most of them understand what they are putting themselves into. Then there's the younger group, I know this group well because I am part of it ( having had a child at a delicate young age myself)

So what comes with having a child before getting married?
Not only do you have to be a single parent(without having planned it) you know in your mind that the other party is out there and couldn't be bothered. This is not always the case but its common the guy doesn't stay. you falling pregnant was a mistake after all. This means you now have to deal with this man who comes and goes as he pleases, imagine an on and off relationship that does not make sense to you, yet you find yourself in it for years. (this happens because you are still a child yourself being under 20 and all) then one day it hits you you've been holding on for your child. NOT healthy. LET GO

So now you'v let go, now comes the baby daddy drama, there's a child involved who needs to know his/her father its their right after all. All those visits where you have to see this man's face all over again bleeh. There's his current girlfriend who uploads pictures of your child on Facebook captioned "miss my son" and you just wonder. but you let it slide. Things are just so complicated when there's a child involved breaking up is hard enough because your exes family feels they need an explanation and you just don't understand ba siphi kanti?

now you've moved on and you've met a great guy who's all in, even wants to get to know your child, a delicate matter all on its own. Your child must know their father right? yes. Even if that works out there's this man(your ex) who will always be a part of your life even if you have successfully moved on he will just be there as the father of your child. such is life hey

the points I have mentioned are only but a few things a person may avoid just by making the right decision. by no means am I saying that marriage is the answer to all your baby daddy drama. I just hope we all survive it all.

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